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atheist jokes about religion

Headlines of Today and Tomorrow

HEADLINES  1-23-11

I scroll through the headlines, each one equally astounding, each one jumping out of the page at me. I read each one and shake my head in disbelief and disgust to think that all these atrocities are happening so quickly in such a deliberate order, like some playbook was being followed and the next step is coming up shortly and there’s no stopping it. It’s like one minute we were on the side of a mountain with perfect footing on a safely trodden path and the next minute the entire side of the mountain has given way and we are all terminally sliding down in an avalanche. Some of the headlines, I read, just to check in on reality that it is not just my mind playing tricks on me or I am not caught in an hallucination or in a parallel universe. As I read the heart of the story, I then realize that these things are actually happening and this is actually the present and these must be the last days surely, due to all this prophecy being fulfilled. The apostasy is occurring now. Yahweh’s judgment is coming. There’s no stopping it. Jeremiah said that the mind of man is desperately wicked above all things. He was right. Headlines warn we are on a collision course with judgment and the end of mankind’s physical existence. One headline schreeks, “Abortion is now a constitutional right”. Another one screams, “Homosexuals can now serve openly in the military.” One quotes a congress woman saying, “There are more important things to do than worry about abortion. There are jobs and the economy…” Another headline: “Obama trying to get I.D. for every citizen for the internet…” Another chiller: “We must get control of the internet for the protection of citizens.” Headline: “Getting rid of guns gets rid of crime” (actually getting rid of criminals gets rid of crime!) Another one shouts, “Hate speech and rhetoric must stop now…” The Patriot Act is unpatriotic. The Fairness Doctrine is unfair. Doing away with hate speech is hateful. Evolution is a joke most take seriously. Evolution gives license, credence, and justification for man to do what he is doing now. It is survival of the fittest and the strongest rule. Man’s law and freedoms are relative to his own beliefs and desires and cannot be ruled by any, so called, constitution, which is an old antiquated document contrived by religious bigots and slave owners. Religion is prejudice against many and instills hate speech. It must be silenced. They want total control of the internet, banking, food, money, and all communication. They want to control speech and thoughts. It’s like we are in a nightmare that is a cross between 1984 and Minority Report. Another headline pops up on wnd.com like a horror house Manichean staring me in the face: “The emperor has no birth certificate.” Gun free zones. Non-freespeech zones. The Twilight Zone. Which one are we in? Headline reads, “U S pushing Muslims and Sheriah law to replace Christians and Christian values….” Headlines: “Pornography is a freedom of expression right, guaranteed by the constitution.” (Although many are being arrested or forced off public streets now for preaching the gospel) The atheist (or Muslim), communist, pornographer, homosexual, totalitarians are in control, appointed by God for His judgment on this land. Headline: “Preachers caught for sexual improprieties” Many false teachers will lead many astray, because of whom the way of truth will be evil spoken against. Headline: “Preachers can no longer speak politics from the pulpit and recommend any candidate.” (This of course is tainted by race and there is a double standard.) Future Headlines desired by the evil New World Order: (I can assure you that, just like the 2,000 page health care bill was laying around waiting for the proper time to be revealed, the following plans or something similar, are laying around on some dusty shelf in hell waiting to be revealed. I feel it in my gut. Perhaps Yahushua has given me a glimpse into the future that says no time will be worse, not even the inquisition, the dark ages, Hitler, Stalin, Ivan the Terrible, etc. If you dare, read the following; you will see what I mean. This is a glimpse, in part, into the tribulation to come, I believe.) Headline: “The STATE is defined as the New World Government. We are all one now and there are no borders and no individual governments that compete and fight against each other. We all have the common goals and efforts to sustain and prosper the world community. Sovereignty is now a world issue. Individuals who do not comply will be considered as an enemy of the state.” Headline: “We now have one world currency.” Headline: “We now have a one world government, by the people and for the people.” Headline: “We now have one world religion, which is a religion unlike all the other intolerant religions man has invented to cause war and strife over the centuries. Our religion is tolerant of all peoples, all sexes, and all orientations, so as not to impose silly and archaic religious morays upon people. It frees the inhibitions of society and stimulates their thinking. The human mind has now evolved into its next odyssey.” Headline: “Man has taken his next step in human evolution by eliminating all religions and all governments, combining and unifying man into one world and one humanity with mother earth as the center. No longer will there be wars between the nations. Now we are all one nation and one humanity, unified with mother earth.” Headline: “All hunger and poverty have been eliminated in the human race. We have evolved into a mankind of charity and compassion, rather than of war and hatred.” Headline: “No one is to violate Mother Earth. Anyone found polluting or littering will be subject to imprisonment and/or fines. The state will determine the definition of polluting and littering.” Headline: “Ammunition is now controlled and made so that it expires within two months.” Headline: “All ammunition sales must be licensed through the ATF.” Headline: “Preaching is only allowed in churches and sermons must be approved by the state.” Headline: “Proselytizing is unlawful on any public street or in any public building.” Headline: “All income will now process directly through the IRS and they will automatically deduct the proper amount of the citizen’s obligation.” Headline: “Health and death insurance will be mandatory, determined by the Dept. of Health and automatically deducted from one’s pay.” Headline: “No guns are allowed on any public streets or buildings and can only be kept on one’s property with a government permit.” Headline: “All citizens must turn in their guns to the ATF for processing. Such guns will be kept at an armory facility or permitted back to the citizen for an annual fee. Such actions will be determined in the best interest of society by the ATF. The citizen will have no recourse on the decision and no compensation will be given should firearms not be returned to the citizen.” Headline: “No citizen can have more than one month’s supply of food or water.” Headline: “No citizen can grow his own food without approval and a permit from the Dept. of Agriculture.” Headline: “No citizen can have any livestock without approval and a permit from the Dept. of Agriculture.” Headline: “All pets must be approved by the Dept. of Pets and will be spayed or neutered at owner’s expense. All pets must be implanted with a biochip. Limit of two pets per household. Only domestic cats or dogs are allowed.” Headline: “All vaccinations will be taken by all children and adults, no exceptions, as determined by the Dept. of Health.” Headline: “All smoking is banned.” Headline: “Community service is required. What type and the number of days will be determined by Dept. of Community Organizing and will be allocated accordingly. No one may refuse to do community service at the time required by the state or prison and/or a fine may be imposed.” Headline: “All drugs will be bought, with proper taxes paid, through the Dept. of Drug Affairs only. Any citizen using drugs must prove acquisition from the government only. If proof of purchase and use cannot be determined, imprisonment and/or fines could be imposed.” Headline: “Any person caught selling illegal drugs, smokes, alcohol, guns, or other state determined contraband will be euthanized within one week of capture. No exceptions.” Headline: “All books, TV, movies, magazines, or other such periodicals will be approved by the Dept. of Education for use. Any contraband or banned books will be confiscated and disposed of and the person can be fined or imprisoned. All educational materials are chosen strictly by the Dept. of Education.” Headline: “No bibles or books of the Torah, Tenach, or new testament are allowed to exist except one copy in each church under the direct control of the state appointed Bishop over the pastor of that church. Anyone wanting to read any passages of these texts must first get approval through this Bishop and state a valid reason.” Headline: “All TV evangelism or any proselytizing of any kind in any public or private arena is forbidden, unless approved by the Dept. of Religious Affairs.” Headline: “All properties and assets accumulated by religious organizations and churches are now confiscated by the state. The state will determine which churches will remain open under its new rules and laws.” Headline: “All radio, shortwave, or other transmissions over the air ways will be pre-approved by the state. Any violation could carry a prison sentence and/or a fine.” Headline: “All internet activity will accompany your own personal state issued ID number and signature. Any descent or speech against the government or any other race or sect will be deemed as hate speech, punishable by prison and/or a fine. ” Headline: “Speech against the Christian religion is encouraged and will be considered as a form of comedy, to cheer the masses.” Headline: “All religious home meetings are forbidden under penalty of imprisonment and/or fines.” Headline: “Acceptable religions and churches will be determined by the Dept. of Religious Affairs.” Headline: “Your state house monitors should be updated daily. Also check for any special state instructions daily. Failure to do so will result in fines, imprisonment, or relocation to a state housing faucility.” Headline: “All citizens over the age of 16 will be employed and productive members of society. All who are not will be evaluated by the state for further processing.” Headline: “There is no restriction on Pornography and it is allowed for any child or adult. No child or adult shall be denied their right to pornography. It is considered healthy by the state to eliminate all of our past religious inhibitions and live as a true free people.” Headline: “Any parent shall not deny access to pornography to any child under punishment of prison and/or fines.” Headline: “All children under the age of 16 will report daily to the state school for teaching and education, except one half day per week to spend with family. Parents shall provide condoms for all sex classes, which will be twice per week. Condoms are only needed if children have reached puberty, otherwise they are not needed.” Headline: “Marriage is no longer required. A state contract between the two or more parties takes its place so that should irreconcilable differences occur the state can decide the best resolution to the problem.” Headline: “All vehicles are approved by the Dept. of Transportation. All vehicles older than _____ will be turned in to your nearest Dept. of Transportation office.” Headline: “All residential and business thermostats for heating and cooling will be monitored by the Dept. of Energy computer systems and anyone using more than the allotted amount for your size family or business will be penalized and fined. All T-stat settings will be set at 65 in the winter and 85 in the summer and be off when no one is present at the domicile or business. All fireplaces or open fires are hereby abolished, as this causes air pollution.” Headline: “Any citizen traveling more than 20 miles from his or her domicile must have all papers in order and show reason, if stopped by authorities, for passage past the 20 mile mark.” Headline: “Police are not restrained to stop anyone for any reason. Police can arrest anyone if they are a suspect, whether a crime has been committed or not.” Headline: “No citizen may sue a policeman for any reason. The state will determine any dereliction or malfeasance and issue the proper punishment.” Headline: “As a responsible and productive citizen, you may be called upon by your government for service of any kind and you must comply or face prison time and/or fines.” Headline: “Any one in prison will be given one year to rehabilitate to the satisfaction of the Dept. of Corrections, or he or she will be euthanized. If found rehabilitated and a crime is repeated after the prisoner is released, he or she will be euthanized within one week. No exceptions.” Headline: “Organ donation is mandatory for every citizen.” Headline: “All corporations are sanctioned and approved through the Dept. of world government affairs. Any corporation found to be in violation of world laws will be dissolved and all assets go to the state.” Headline: “There is no more stock market, per se, that competes. All affairs of business go through the Dept. of World Affairs. Citizens are required, as determined by this department, how much stock to offer up and to which company.” Headline: “There is no more free market and all entrepreneurs must be state approved.” Headline: “All inventions, music, works of art, and works of literature are automatically the property of the state, who will determine if the inventor, artist, musician, or writer is entitled to any compensation.” Headline: “No donations shall be given to a charity, unless pre-approved by the government. There are no tax deductions for such donations.” Headline: “No births shall occur without prior government approval and all children under the age of two will be eliminated should a citizen be caught with them. Illegal children over the age of two will be confiscated and employed as wards of the state and used for work or experimentation for drugs, sexual partners, or other necessary activities. Exception to this rule is if the state needs children under two years of age for experimentation or other uses. Those in the ruling class may like some of these children for sexual mates, as all morays and inhibitions of the old society are gone.” Headline: “A selected couple may be chosen to breed for the state to supply it with a needed person for sex, organs, or experimentation. The couple will be compensated should they be honored to do this service for the state.” Headline: “Anyone living who reaches age 70 will report to the Geriatric relocation and housing center for processing.” Headline: “No citizen will be housed in a nursing home. If immobility or lack of productivity become an issue, euthanasia is required.” Headline: “All citizens will receive an implanted biochip in his or her right forearm or forehead for tracking, banking, health monitoring, and identification. If ones health becomes an issue through this monitoring they may be required to report to a health center for evaluation.” Headline: “Only citizens with IQ’s above 110 will be allowed to educate to grade level 12. Only citizens with IQ’s above 120 will be allowed to attend University. Citizens with IQ scores below 110 will be trained in a trade.” Headline: “All retarded or handicap babies will be given up for elimination, organ harvesting, or experimentation. All handicapped persons will be evaluated to see if a suitable and productive position can be found in society, otherwise euthanasia is required.” Headline: “The ship was sinking but all the passengers paid no attention to the warning bells and rising water. They just kept partying and doing their usual things until the ship was gone and they all drowned.” We must all fight against tyranny and evil, though we think the battle is predetermined. The mind of Yahweh has been swayed by man in the past, yet we know every jot and tittle of His Word is to be fulfilled.

About the Author

Web site: http://www.theinventions.com Freelance writer for HVACR News for two years with regular column. Inventor with several patented inventions. Writing for many years. http://www.icr.org http://www.exodus-international.org


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